Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
