So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
