My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
