don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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