No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize