You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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