Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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