they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
