we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
