Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
