she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
