Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
