We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize