I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
