I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize