Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
