it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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