She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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