You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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