people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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