Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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