i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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