Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
