think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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