The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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