so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
