what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
