There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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