i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
