The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I came so hard my ears popped.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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