I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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