three words: i give head
three words: not that well
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize