We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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