She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
