her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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