apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize