JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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