His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
