guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
