why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
