Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
