he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
