Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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