he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
