Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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