it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
