I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
