Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
