why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
