he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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