I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
