M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
