Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
