you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
