if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
