I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
These tits shall not be calmed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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