There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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