I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
