I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
